Ramblings of Terry- Reflections of Dad
This song came into my head a few weeks ago, it is one I have never thought much about, just a nice, old song from several decades ago. I pulled it up on Youtube as I Iay in bed one night and watched the group Marmalade, the originals, sing it. Maybe because my personal world is changing with the last of my children starting college in a few weeks but for some this songís lyrics stuck in my mind.
So just now I sat down with the computer and pulled up the digital pictures from Dadís old slides and picked a few to go with it and make another music video. It is always a somber time when I make these videos and re-see the same old pictures that have been around since I was a child. I read different things in the faces and places as I imagine the lives of the people when the picture as made. Of course, with Mom being gone, her pictures bring forth a sorrow and a wishing that I could talk with her again. As Dad gets older I now find myself looking at his pictures when he was at full strength and his family was prime and young. The particular picture in this video that sticks with me is him in a pink shirt with Don in his lap and the rest of his young family on the couch with him. I think he got married when he was 32 so he was probably about 37 or 38 here. He has a little extra weight on him and his face looks a bit chunkier than normal. He had a nice smile but there was something that was not quite right and it took a minute of thinking to come upon it. Dad does not have his glasses on and he seems a little sweeter and younger looking and for some reason it makes me feel sorry for him.
I look back at my life and the years gone by and the memories of so much being gone are already painful. I can imagine that a lot of Dad's time is spent thinking back on his years and his family and how it must be quite sad to grow old. I think that the sweeter your life was, the more bitter the aging process must be.
My Dad does not need to be pitied, he has lived right, has kids that love and respect him, is financially secure, and is in good health for his age. And yet it is hard not to feel sorry for him as he watches himself become slowly less able to do the things he used to. He looks in the mirror and sees a worn out old body and his brain must wonder what happened. These pictures are a sad reminder of my Dadís life as a parent with young kids. His good days are behind him. If we are lucky, we will have the same fate. The best we can hope for is to live right and die peacefully.
Your brother the reminiscer,